I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize