I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
