i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
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he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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