I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Did we literally take a cab across the street
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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