Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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