I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
they need to just BURY HIM!
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
