I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
is it fun? or sober?
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