Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
