im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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