he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
