There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Randomize
