We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
