Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I just gargled with NyQuil
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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