Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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