Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
