alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
