She said her name was "party"
I wish I only lived at night.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Vodka?
Forever.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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