I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
