I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
