What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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