there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
