Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Randomize
