The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
