Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
