It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
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