i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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