I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
