don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
