it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
