Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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