I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
