Don't you send me to vm
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize
