May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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