week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
