i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
