you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I just want nice things and good sex
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
