I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
