A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
