I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
