dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
