Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Randomize
