i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
