Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
