Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
