Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize