New low: just hacked my moms facebook
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
