I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
