OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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