Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
