yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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