he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Houston, we have a blender
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
