i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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