Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Even my vagina gasped.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
