He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
