how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
