hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
