My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
