Plan B is the new Plan A
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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