seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize