meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
we're so committed to being not committed
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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