ugly people sure do ruin things
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
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