Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
