you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
