i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Randomize
