he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
