Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Ketchup is God's man juice
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
