5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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