Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize