who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
