No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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